Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

  • 210 pages
  • Anglais
  • Format Kindle
Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

⇯ Pdf ᠔ Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America online ↭ ePUB Author Firoozeh Dumas ∢ Chapter 1Leffingwell Elementary SchoolWhen I was seven, my parents, my fourteen year old brother, Farshid, and I moved from Abadan, Iran, to Whittier, California Farid, the older of my two brothers, had been sent to Philadelphia the year before to attend high school Like most Iranian youths, he had always dreamed of attending college abroad and, despite my mother s tears, had left us to live with my uncle and his American wife I, too, had been sad at Farid s departure, but my sorrow soon faded not coincidentally, with the receipt of a package from him Suddenly, having my brother on a different continent seemed like a small price to pay for owning a Barbie complete with a carrying case and four outfits, including the rain gear and mini umbrella.Our move to Whittier was temporary My father, Kazem, an engineer with the National Iranian Oil Company, had been assigned to consult for an American firm for about two years Having spent several years in Texas and California as a graduate student, my father often spoke about America with the eloquence and wonder normally reserved for a first love To him, America was a place where anyone, no matter how humble his background, could become an important person It was a kind and orderly nation full of clean bathrooms, a land where traffic laws were obeyed and where whales jumped through hoops It was the Promised Land For me, it was where I could buy outfits for Barbie.We arrived in Whittier shortly after the start of second grade my father enrolled me in Leffingwell Elementary School To facilitate my adjustment, the principal arranged for us to meet my new teacher, Mrs Sandberg, a few days before I started school Since my mother and I did not speak English, the meeting consisted of a dialogue between my father and Mrs Sandberg My father carefully explained that I had attended a prestigious kindergarten where all the children were taught English Eager to impress Mrs Sandberg, he asked me to demonstrate my knowledge of the English language I stood up straight and proudly recited all that I knew White, yellow, orange, red, purple, blue, green.The following Monday, my father drove my mother and me to school He had decided that it would be a good idea for my mother to attend school with me for a few weeks I could not understand why two people not speaking English would be better than one, but I was seven, and my opinion didn t matter much.Until my first day at Leffingwell Elementary School, I had never thought of my mother as an embarrassment, but the sight of all the kids in the school staring at us before the bell rang was enough to make me pretend I didn t know her The bell finally rang and Mrs Sandberg came and escorted us to class Fortunately, she had figured out that we were precisely the kind of people who would need help finding the right classroom.My mother and I sat in the back while all the children took their assigned seats Everyone continued to stare at us Mrs Sandberg wrote my name on the board F I R O O Z E H Under my name, she wrote I R A N She then pulled down a map of the world and said something to my mom My mom looked at me and asked me what she had said I told her that the teacher probably wanted her to find Iran on the map.The problem was that my mother, like most women of her generation, had been only briefly educated In her era, a girl s sole purpose in life was to find a husband Having an education ranked far below desirable attributes such as the ability to serve tea or prepare baklava Before her marriage, my mother, Nazireh, had dreamed of becoming a midwife Her father, a fairly progressive man, had even refused the two earlier suitors who had come for her so that his daughter could pursue her dream My mother planned to obtain her diploma, then go to Tabriz to learn midwifery from a teacher whom my grandfather knew Sadly, the teacher died unexpectedly, and my mother s dreams had to be buried as well.Bachelor No 3 was my father Like the other suitors, he had never spoken to my mother, but one of his cousins knew someone who knew my mother s sister, so that was enough More important, my mother fit my father s physical requirements for a wife Like most Iranians, my father preferred a fair skinned woman with straight, light colored hair Having spent a year in America as a Fulbright scholar, he had returned with a photo of a woman he found attractive and asked his older sister, Sedigeh, to find someone who resembled her Sedigeh had asked around, and that is how at age seventeen my mother officially gave up her dreams, married my father, and had a child by the end of the year.As the students continued staring at us, Mrs Sandberg gestured to my mother to come up to the board My mother reluctantly obeyed I cringed Mrs Sandberg, using a combination of hand gestures, started pointing to the map and saying, Iran Iran Iran Clearly, Mrs Sandberg had planned on incorporating us into the day s lesson I only wished she had told us that earlier so we could have stayed home.After a few awkward attempts by my mother to find Iran on the map, Mrs Sandberg finally understood that it wasn t my mother s lack of English that was causing a problem, but rather her lack of world geography Smiling graciously, she pointed my mother back to her seat Mrs Sandberg then showed everyone, including my mother and me, where Iran was on the map My mother nodded her head, acting as if she had known the location all along, but had preferred to keep it a secret Now all the students stared at us, not just because I had come to school with my mother, not because we couldn t speak their language, but because we were stupid I was especially mad at my mother, because she had negated the positive impression I had made previously by reciting the color wheel I decided that starting the next day, she would have to stay home.The bell finally rang and it was time for us to leave Leffingwell Elementary was just a few blocks from our house and my father, grossly underestimating our ability to get lost, had assumed that my mother and I would be able to find our way home She and I wandered aimlessly, perhaps hoping for a shooting star or a talking animal to help guide us back None of the streets or houses looked familiar As we stood pondering our predicament, an enthusiastic young girl came leaping out of her house and said something Unable to understand her, we did what we had done all day we smiled The girl s mother joined us, then gestured for us to follow her inside I assumed that the girl, who appeared to be the same age as I, was a student at Leffingwell Elementary having us inside her house was probably akin to having the circus make a personal visit.Her mother handed us a telephone, and my mother, who had, thankfully, memorized my father s work number, called him and explained our situation My father then spoke to the American woman and gave her our address This kind stranger agreed to take us back to our house.Perhaps fearing that we might show up at their doorstep again, the woman and her daughter walked us all the way to our front porch and even helped my mother unlock the unfamiliar door After making one last futile attempt at communication, they waved good bye Unable to thank them in words, we smiled even broadly.After spending an entire day in America, surrounded by Americans, I realized that my father s description of America had been correct The bathrooms were clean and the people were very, very kind.Hot Dogs and Wild GeeseMoving to America was both exciting and frightening, but we found great comfort in knowing that my father spoke English Having spent years regaling us with stories about his graduate years in America, he had left us with the distinct impression that America was his second home My mother and I planned to stick close to him, letting him guide us through the exotic American landscape that he knew so well We counted on him not only to translate the language but also to translate the culture, to be a link to this most foreign of lands He was to be our own private Rosetta stone.Once we reached America, we wondered whether perhaps my father had confused his life in America with someone else s Judging from the bewildered looks of store cashiers, gas station attendants, and waiters, my father spoke a version of English not yet shared with the rest of America His attempts to find a vater closet in a department store would usually lead us to the drinking fountain or the home furnishings section Asking my father to ask the waitress the definition of sloppy Joe or Tater Tots was no problem His translations, however, were highly suspect Waitresses would spend several minutes responding to my father s questions, and these responses, in turn, would be translated as She doesn t know Thanks to my father s translations, we stayed away from hot dogs, catfish, and hush puppies, and no amount of caviar in the sea would have convinced us to try mud pie.We wondered how my father had managed to spend several years attending school in America, yet remain so utterly befuddled by Americans We soon discovered that his college years had been spent mainly in the library, where he had managed to avoid contact with all Americans except his engineering professors As long as the conversation was limited to vectors, surface tension, and fluid mechanics, my father was Fred Astaire with words But one step outside the scintillating world of petroleum engineering and he had two left tongues.My father s only other regular contact in college had been his roommate, a Pakistani who spent his days preparing curry Since neither spoke English, but both liked curries, they got along splendidly The person who had assigned them together had probably hoped they would either learn English or invent a common language for the occasion Neither happened.Heartfelt and hilariousin any language Glamour A joyful success Newsday Remarkable told with wry humor shorn of sentimentality In the end, what sticks with the reader is an exuberant immigrant embrace of America San Francisco Chronicle Whats charming beyond the humor of this memoir is that it remains affectionate even in the weakest, most tenuous moments for the culture Its the brilliance of true sophistication at work Los Angeles Times Book Review Often hilarious, always interesting Like the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, this book describes with humor the intersection and overlapping of two cultures The Providence Journal A humorous and introspective chronicle of a life filled with loveof family, country, and heritage.Jimmy Carter Delightfully refreshing.Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Funny in Farsi brings us closer to discovering what it means to be an American San Jose Mercury News Funny in Farsi A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in Funny America Kindle edition by Firoozeh Dumas Download it once and read on your device, PC, phones or tablets Summary Study Guide includes detailed chapter summaries analysis, quotes, character Firoozeh New York Times Best selling Welcome to the website Bestselling writer, Dumas, author Farsi, Laughing Without an Accent, It Ain t So Books Dumas All Rights Reserved Content may contain affiliate links Thank you for support Site Design Motif, Custom WordPress mydlink Not Registered yet To get started with mydlink cloud services, need have a enabled product Learn about supported products here Photos, Pics, Habeeb Photos Pictures Hope this never happens poor girl peed her pants funny pics photos Search search box Farsi Cafe West Los Angeles Angeles, CA reviews I found place yelp my cousin also suggested The restaurant itself has nice red decor is clean There Persian music Anvari was article France s best known blogger, Loc Le Meur, Financial today He ten rules achieving success business Phrases Languages This page contains course phrases daily expressions as well list other lessons grammar topics common words called Afghan Jokes, Dari Persian Afghan jokes, persian mullah nasrudin molla nasrdin nasruddin, fakahi, fakahy, kaka afef, zalmay araa, pashto, persian, afghani, irani, tajiki Karadayi Doble Iran Effi Added years ago LOTFAN mardom ra khomari negozarid HLTMK Ma keh ghesmat moshahedeh nakardim bejay post Add Latin Swearing Phrase Language collection profanity submitted Please think voting accuracy swear belowBio born Abadan, Iran moved Whittier, California at age seven After two year stay, she family back lived Laughing Accent Adventures a Global Citizen FREE shipping qualifying offers NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER It Awful, Falafel Dumas, bestselling Iran, stay America, tells story Firoozeh, parents Kazem Nazireh, brothers extended Opinion Surgery Germany, Wanted My doctor told me that feeling pain during recovery from surgery normal Why so resistant Steven Barclay Agency Steven Agency represents our culture most distinguished thought provoking voices lectures, readings, conferences, special events Calendario persa Wikipedia, la enciclopedia libre El calendario o iran es un solar en el que ao comienza con equinoccio de primavera marzo WISE Muslim Women Islamic Initiative WISE envisions world which women leaders are instrumental creating peaceful anchored gender equality human dignity Suzan Lori Parks Named one Time magazine Innovators Next Wave, Suzan exciting acclaimed playwrights American drama firoozehdumas Twitter latest Tweets Author Bestsellers give speeches love what do Instagram , Followers, Following, Posts See Instagram videos Farsi Muslims Media YouTube Complete video criticizes media and, s, Southern She later attended UC Berkeley where met married In when seven, California, arriving no firsthand knowledge country Iranian Ebook written Read book using Google Play Books app android, iOS devices Firoozehdumas Easy Counter Firoozehdumas tracked us since April, Over time been ranked high world, while its traffic comes USA TOP QUOTES BY FIROOZEH DUMAS Z Quotes Discover famous rare quotes Share quotations house, mothers Ever we had arrived United Help improve Pages updating bibliography submitting new current image biography Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

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