Bridget Jones's Diary: A Novel eBook: Helen Fielding:

  • 324 pages
  • Anglais
  • Format Kindle
Bridget Jones's Diary: A Novel eBook: Helen Fielding:

ಳ Bridget Jones's Diary: A Novel eBook: Helen Fielding: free download pdf ೋ Kindle Ebook By Helen Fielding ೨ In the course of the year recorded in Bridget Jones s Diary, Bridget confides her hopes, her dreams, and her monstrously fluctuating poundage, not to mention her consumption of 5277 cigarettes and Fat units 3457 approx hideous in every way In 365 days, she gains 74 pounds On the other hand, she loses 72 There is also the unspoken New Year s resolution the quest for the right man Alas, here Bridget goes severely off course when she has an affair with her charming cad of a boss But who would be without their e mail flirtation focused on a short black skirt The boss even contends that it is so short as to be nonexistent At the beginning of Helen Fielding s exceptionally funny second novel, the thirtyish publishing puffette is suffering from postholiday stress syndrome but determined to find Inner Peace and poise Bridget will, for instance, get up straight away when wake up in mornings Now if only she can survive the party her mother has tricked her into a suburban fest full of Smug Marrieds professing concern for her and her fellow Singletons she ll have made a good start As far as she s concerned, We wouldn t rush up to them and roar, How s your marriage going Still having sex This is only the first of many disgraces Bridget will suffer in her year of performance anxiety at work and at play, though less often in bed and living through other people s emotional fuckwittage Her twin set wearing suburban mother, for instance, suddenly becomes a chat show hostess and unrepentant adulteress, while our heroine herself spends half the time overdosing on Chardonnay and feeling like a tragic freak Bridget Jones s Diary began as a column in the London Independent and struck a chord with readers of all sexes and sizes In strokes simultaneously broad and subtle, Helen Fielding reveals the lighter side of despair, self doubt, and obsession, and also satirizes everything from self help books they don t sound half as sensible to Bridget when she s sober to feng shui, Cosmopolitan style She is the Nancy Mitford of the 1990s, and it s impossible not to root for her endearing heroine On the other hand, one can only hope that Bridget will continue to screw up and tell us all about it for years and books to come Kerry FriedJanuary An Exceptionally Bad Start Sunday 1 January 129 lbs but post Christmas , alcohol units 14 but effectively covers 2 days as 4 hours of party was on New Year s Day , cigarettes 22, calories 5424. Food consumed today 2 pkts Emmenthal cheese slices14 cold new potatoes2 Bloody Marys count as food as contain Worcester sauce and tomatoes 1 3 Ciabatta loaf with Briecoriander leaves 1 2 packet12 Milk Tray best to get rid of all Christmas confectionery in one go and make fresh start tomorrow 13 cocktail sticks securing cheese and pineapplePortion Una Alconbury s turkey curry, peas and bananasPortion Una Alconbury s Raspberry Surprise made with Bourbon biscuits, tinned raspberries, eight gallons of whipped cream, decorated with glac cherries and angelica Noon London my flat Ugh The last thing on earth I feel physically, emotionally or mentally equipped to do is drive to Una and Geoffrey Alconbury s New Year s Day Turkey Curry Buffet in Grafton Underwood Geoffrey and Una Alconbury are my parents best friends and, as Uncle Geoffrey never tires of reminding me, have known me since I was running round the lawn with no clothes on My mother rang up at 8 30 in the morning last August Bank Holiday and forced me to promise to go She approached it via a cunningly circuitous route Oh, hello, darling I was just ringing to see what you wanted for Christmas Christmas Would you like a surprise, darling No I bellowed Sorry I mean I wondered if you d like a set of wheels for your suitcase But I haven t got a suitcase Why don t I get you a little suitcase with wheels attached You know, like air hostesses have I ve already got a bag Oh, darling, you can t go around with that tatty green canvas thing You look like some sort of Mary Poppins person who s fallen on hard times Just a little compact case with a pull out handle It s amazing how much you can get in Do you want it in navy on red or red on navy Mum It s eight thirty in the morning It s summer It s very hot I don t want an air hostess bag Julie Enderby s got one She says she never uses anything else Who s Julie Enderby You know Julie, darling Mavis Enderby s daughter Julie The one that s got that super dooper job at Arthur Andersen Mum Always takes it on her trips I don t want a little bag with wheels on I ll tell you what Why don t Jamie, Daddy and I all club together and get you a proper new big suitcase and a set of wheels Exhausted, I held the phone away from my ear, puzzling about where the missionary luggage Christmas gift zeal had stemmed from When I put the phone back she was saying in actual fact, you can get them with a compartment with bottles for your bubble bath and things The other thing I thought of was a shopping cart Is there anything you d like for Christmas I said desperately, blinking in the dazzling Bank Holiday sunlight No, no, she said airily I ve got everything I need Now, darling, she suddenly hissed, you will be coming to Geoffrey and Una s New Year s Day Turkey Curry Buffet this year, won t you Ah Actually, I I panicked wildly What could I pretend to be doing think I might have to work on New Year s Day That doesn t matter You can drive up after work Oh, did I mention Malcolm and Elaine Darcy are coming and bringing Mark with them Do you remember Mark, darling He s one of those top notch barristers Masses of money Divorced It doesn t start till eight Oh God Not another strangely dressed opera freak with bushy hair burgeoning from a side part Mum, I ve told you I don t need to be fixed up with Now come along, darling Una and Geoffrey have been holding the New Year buffet since you were running round the lawn with no clothes on Of course you re going to come And you ll be able to use your new suitcase 11 45 p.m Ugh First day of New Year has been day of horror Cannot quite believe I am once again starting the year in a single bed in my parents house It is too humiliating at my age I wonder if they ll smell it if I have a fag out of the window Having skulked at home all day, hoping hangover would clear, I eventually gave up and set off for the Turkey Curry Buffet far too late When I got to the Alconburys and rang their entire tune of town hall clock style doorbell I was still in a strange world of my own nauseous, vile headed, acidic I was also suffering from road rage residue after inadvertently getting on to the M6 instead of the M1 and having to drive halfway to Birmingham before I could find anywhere to turn round I was so furious I kept jamming my foot down to the floor on the accelerator pedal to give vent to my feelings, which is very dangerous I watched resignedly as Una Alconbury s form intriguingly deformed through the ripply glass door bore down on me in a fuchsia two piece Bridget We d almost given you up for lost Happy New Year Just about to start without you She seemed to manage to kiss me, get my coat off, hang it over the banister, wipe her lipstick off my cheek and make me feel incredibly guilty all in one movement, while I leaned against the ornament shelf for support Sorry I got lost Lost Durr What are we going to do with you Come on in She led me through the frosted glass doors into the lounge, shouting, She got lost, everyone Bridget Happy New Year said Geoffrey Alconbury, clad in a yellow diamond patterned sweater He did a jokey Bob Hope step then gave me the sort of hug which Boots would send straight to the police station Hahumph, he said, going red in the face and pulling his trousers up by the waistband Which junction did you come off at Junction nineteen, but there was a diversion Junction nineteen Una, she came off at Junction nineteen You ve added an hour to your journey before you even started Come on, let s get you a drink How s your love life, anyway Oh God Why can t married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask We wouldn t rush up to them and roar, How s your marriage going Still having sex Everyone knows that dating in your thirties is not the happy go lucky free for all it was when you were twenty two and that the honest answer is likely to be, Actually, last night my married lover appeared wearing suspenders and a darling little Angora crop top, told me he was gay a sex addict a narcotic addict a commitment phobic and beat me up with a dildo, than, Super, thanks Not being a natural liar, I ended up mumbling shamefacedly to Geoffrey, Fine, at which point he boomed, So you still haven t got a feller Bridget What are we going to do with you said Una You career girls I don t know Can t put it off forever, you know Tick tock tick tock Yes How does a woman manage to get to your age without being married roared Brian Enderby married to Mavis, used to be president of the Rotary in Kettering , waving his sherry in the air Fortunately my dad rescued me I m very pleased to see you, Bridget, he said, taking my arm Your mother has the entire Northamptonshire constabulary poised to comb the county with toothbrushes for your dismembered remains Come and demonstrate your presence so I can start enjoying myself How s the be wheeled suitcase Big beyond all sense How are the ear hair clippers Oh, marvelously you know clippy It was all right, I suppose I would have felt a bit mean if I hadn t turned up, but Mark Darcy Yuk Every time my mother s rung up for weeks it s been, Of course you remember the Darcys, darling They came over when we were living in Buckingham and you and Mark played in the paddling pool or, Oh Did I mention Malcolm and Elaine are bringing Mark with them to Una s New Year s Day Turkey Curry Buffet He s just back from America, apparently Divorced He s looking for a house in Holland Park Apparently he had the most terrible time with his wife Japanese Very cruel race Then next time, as if out of the blue, Do you remember Mark Darcy, darling Malcolm and Elaine s son He s one of these super dooper top notch lawyers Divorced Elaine says he works all the time and he s terribly lonely I think he might be coming to Una s New Year s Day Turkey Curry Buffet, actually I don t know why she didn t just come out with it and say, Darling, do shag Mark Darcy over the turkey curry, won t you He s very rich Come along and meet Mark, Una Alconbury singsonged before I d even had time to get a drink down me Being set up with a man against your will is one level of humiliation, but being literally dragged into it by Una Alconbury while caring for an acidic hangover, watched by an entire roomful of friends of your parents, is on another plane altogether The rich, divorced by cruel wife Mark quite tall was standing with his back to the room, scrutinizing the contents of the Alconburys bookshelves mainly leather bound series of books about the Third Reich, which Geoffrey sends off for from Reader s Digest It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party It s like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting Cathy and banging your head against a tree Mark said Una, as if she was one of Santa Claus s fairies I ve got someone nice for you to meet He turned round, revealing that what had seemed from the back like a harmless navy sweater was actually a V neck diamond patterned in shades of yellow and blue as favored by the elderly of the nation s sports reporters As my friend Tom often remarks, it s amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a gray slip on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there s no point writing down phone numbers and forking out for expensive lunches because it s never going to be a runner Mark, this is Colin and Pam s daughter, Bridget, said Una, going all pink and fluttery Bridget works in publishing, don t you, Bridget I do indeed, I for some reason said, as if I were taking part in a Capital radio phone in and was about to ask Una if I could say hello to my friends Jude, Sharon and Tom, my brother Jamie, everyone in the office, my mum and dad, and last of all all the people at the Turkey Curry Buffet Well, I ll leave you two young people together, said Una Durr I expect you re sick to death of us old fuddy duddies Not at all, said Mark Darcy awkwardly with a rather unsuccessful attempt at a smile, at which Una, after rolling her eyes, putting a hand to her bosom and giving a gay tinkling laugh, abandoned us with a toss of her head to a hideous silence I Um Are you reading any, ah Have you read any good books lately he said Oh, for God s sake I racked my brain frantically to think when I last read a proper book The trouble with working in publishing is that reading in your spare time is a bit like being a dustman and snuffling through the pig bin in the evening I m halfway through Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which Jude lent me, but I didn t think Mark Darcy, though clearly odd, was ready to accept himself as a Martian quite yet Then I had a brainwave Backlash, actually, by Susan Faludi, I said triumphantly Hah I haven t exactly read it as such, but feel I have as Sharon has been ranting about it so much Anyway, completely safe option as no way diamond pattern jumpered goody goody would have read five hundred page feminist treatise Ah Really he said I read that when it first came out Didn t you find there was rather a lot of special pleading Oh, well, not too much , I said wildly, racking my brains for a way to get off the subject Have you been staying with your parents over New Year Yes, he said eagerly You too Yes No I was at a party in London last night Bit hungover, actually I gabbed nervously so that Una and Mum wouldn t think I was so useless with men I was failing to talk to even Mark Darcy But then I do think New Year s resolutions can t technically be expected to begin on New Year s Day, don t you Since, because it s an extension of New Year s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system Also dieting on New Year s Day isn t a good idea as you can t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover I think it would be much sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second Maybe you should get something to eat, he said, then suddenly bolted off toward the buffet, leaving me standing on my own by the bookshelf while everybody stared at me, thinking, So that s why Bridget isn t married She repulses men The worst of it was that Una Alconbury and Mum wouldn t leave it at that They kept making me walk round with trays of gherkins and glasses of cream sherry in a desperate bid to throw me into Mark Darcy s path yet again In the end they were so crazed with frustration that the second I got within four feet of him with the gherkins Una threw herself across the room like Will Carling and said, Mark, you must take Bridget s telephone number before you go, then you can get in touch when you re in London I couldn t stop myself turning bright red I could feel it climbing up my neck Now Mark would think I d put her up to it I m sure Bridget s life in London is quite full enough already, Mrs Alconbury, he said Humph It s not that I wanted him to take my phone number or anything, but I didn t want him to make it perfectly obvious to everyone that he didn t want to As I looked down I saw that he was wearing white socks with a yellow bumblebee motif Can t I tempt you with a gherkin I said, to show I had had a genuine reason for coming over, which was quite definitely gherkin based rather than phone number related Thank you, no, he said, looking at me with some alarm Sure Stuffed olive I pressed on No, really Silverskin onion I encouraged Beetroot cube Thank you, he said desperately, taking an olive Hope you enjoy it, I said triumphantly Toward the end I saw him being harangued by his mother and Una, who marched him over toward me and stood just behind while he said stiffly, Do you need driving back to London I m staying here but I could get my car to take you What, all on its own I said He blinked at me Durr Mark has a company car and a driver, silly, said Una Thank you, that s very kind, I said But I shall be taking one of my trains in the morning 2 a.m Oh, why am I so unattractive Why Even a man who wears bumblebee socks thinks I am horrible Hate the New Year Hate everyone Except Daniel Cleaver Anyway, have got giant tray sized bar of Cadbury s Dairy Milk left over from Christmas on dressing table, also amusing joke gin and tonic miniature Am going to consume them and have fag Tuesday 3 January 130 lbs terrifying slide into obesity why why , alcohol units 6 excellent , cigarettes 23 v.g , calories 2472 9 a.m Ugh Cannot face thought of going to work Only thing which makes it tolerable is thought of seeing Daniel again, but even that is inadvisable since am fat, have spot on chin, and desire only to sit on cushion eating chocolate and watching Xmas specials It seems wrong and unfair that Christmas, with its stressful and unmanageable financial and emotional challenges, should first be forced upon one wholly against one s will, then rudely snatched away just when one is starting to get into it Was really beginning to enjoy the feeling that normal service was suspended and it was OK to lie in bed as long as you want, put anything you fancy into your mouth, and drink alcohol whenever it should chance to pass your way, even in the mornings Now suddenly we are all supposed to snap into self discipline like lean teenage greyhounds 10 p.m Ugh Perpetua, slightly senior and therefore thinking she is in charge of me, was at her most obnoxious and bossy, going on and on to the point of utter boredom about latest half million pound property she is planning to buy with her rich but overbred boyfriend, Hugo Yars, yars, well it is north facing but they ve done something frightfully clever with the light I looked at her wistfully, her vast, bulbous bottom swathed in a tight red skirt with a bizarre three quarter length striped waistcoat strapped across it What a blessing to be born with such Sloaney arrogance Perpetua could be the size of a Renault Espace and not give it a thought How many hours, months, years, have I spent worrying about weight while Perpetua has been happily looking for lamps with porcelain cats as bases around the Fulham Road She is missing out on a source of happiness, anyway It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth or power but the pursuit of attainable goals and what is a diet if not that On way home in end of Christmas denial I bought a packet of cut price chocolate tree decorations and a 3.69 bottle of sparkling wine from Norway, Pakistan or similar I guzzled them by the light of the Christmas tree, together with a couple of mince pies, the last of the Christmas cake and some Stilton, while watching Eastenders, imagining it was a Christmas special Now, though, I feel ashamed and repulsive I can actually feel the fat splurging out from my body Never mind Sometimes you have to sink to a nadir of toxic fat envelopment in order to emerge, phoenix like, from the chemical wasteland as a purged and beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer figure Tomorrow new Spartan health and beauty regime will begin Mmmm Daniel Cleaver, though Love his wicked dissolute air, while being v successful and clever He was being v funny today, telling everyone about his aunt thinking the onyx kitchen roll holder his mother had given her for Christmas was a model of a penis Was really v amusing about it Also asked me if I got anything nice for Christmas in rather flirty way Think might wear short black skirt tomorrow Wednesday 4 January 131 lbs state of emergency now as if fat has been stored in capsule form over Christmas and is being slowly released under skin , alcohol units 5 better , cigarettes 20, calories 700 v.g 4 p.m Office State of emergency Jude just rang up from her portable phone in flood of tears, and eventually managed to explain, in a sheep s voice, that she had just had to excuse herself from a board meeting Jude is Head of Futures at Brightlings as she was about to burst into tears and was now trapped in the ladies with Alice Cooper eyes and no makeup bag Her boyfriend, Vile Richard self indulgent commitment phobic , whom she has been seeing on and off for eighteen months, had chucked her for asking him if he wanted to come on holiday with her Typical, but Jude naturally was blaming it all on herself I m co dependent I asked for too much to satisfy my own neediness rather than need Oh, if only I could turn back the clock I immediately called Sharon and an emergency summit has been scheduled for 6 30 in Caf Rouge I hope I can get away without bloody Perpetua kicking up 11 p.m Strident evening Sharon immediately launched into her theory on the Richard situation Emotional fuckwittage, which is spreading like wildfire among men over thirty As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half eaten by an Alsatian Stereotypical notions of shelves, spinning wheels and sexual scrapheaps conspire to make you feel stupid, no matter how much time you spend thinking about Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon And men like Richard, fumed Sharon, play on the chink in the armor to wriggle out of commitment, maturity, honor and the natural progression of things between a man and a woman By this time Jude and I were going, Shhh, shhh, out of the corners of our mouths and sinking down into our coats After all, there is nothing so unattractive to a man as strident feminism How dare he say you were getting too serious by asking to go on holiday with him yelled Sharon What is he talking about Thinking moonily about Daniel Cleaver, I ventured that not all men are like Richard At which point Sharon started on a long illustrative list of emotional fuckwittage in progress in our friends one whose boyfriend of thirteen years refuses even to discuss living together another who went out with a man four times who then chucked her because it was getting too serious another who was pursued by a bloke for three months with impassioned proposals of marriage, only to find him ducking out three weeks after she succumbed and repeating the whole process with her best friend We women are only vulnerable because we are a pioneer generation daring to refuse to compromise in love and relying on our own economic power In twenty years time men won t even dare start with fuckwittage because we will just laugh in their faces, bellowed Sharon At this point Alex Walker, who works in Sharon s company, strolled in with a stunning blonde who was about eight times as attractive as him He ambled over to us to say hi Is this your new girlfriend asked Sharon Well Huh You know, she thinks she is, but we re not going out, we re just sleeping together I ought to stop it really, but, well , he said, smugly Oh, that is just such crap, you cowardly, dysfunctional little schmuck Right I m going to talk to that woman, said Sharon, getting up Jude and I forcibly restrained her while Alex, looking panic stricken, rushed back to continue his fuckwittage unrumbled Eventually the three of us worked out a strategy for Jude She must stop beating herself over the head with Women Who Love Too Much and instead think toward Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which will help her to see Richard s behavior less as a sign that she is co dependent and loving too much and in the light of him being like a Martian rubber band which needs to stretch away in order to come back Yes, but does that mean I should call him or not said Jude No, said Sharon, just as I was saying, Yes After Jude had gone because she has to get up at 5 45 to go to the gym and see her personal shopper before work starts at 8 30 mad Sharon and I suddenly were filled with remorse and self loathing for not advising Jude simply to get rid of Vile Richard because he is vile But then, as Sharon pointed out, last time we did that they got back together and she told him everything we d said in a fit of reconciliatory confession and now it is cripplingly embarrassing every time we see him and he thinks we are the Bitch Queens from Hell which, as Jude points out, is a misapprehension because, although we have discovered our Inner Bitches, we have not yet unlocked them Thursday 5 January 129 lbs excellent progress 2 lbs of fat spontaneously combusted through joy and sexual promise , alcohol units 6 v.g for party , cigarettes 12 continuing good work , calories 1258 love has eradicated need to pig out 11 a.m Office Oh my God Daniel Cleaver just sent me a message Was trying to work on CV without Perpetua noticing in preparation for improving career when Message Pending suddenly flashed up on top of screen Delighted by, well, anything as always am if is not work I quickly pressed RMS Execute and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Cleave at the bottom of the message I instantly thought he had been able to tap into the computer and see that I was not getting on with my work But then I read the message Message JonesYou appear to have forgotten your skirt As I think is made perfectly clear in your contract of employment, staff are expected to be fully dressed at all times Cleave Hah Undeniably flirtatious Thought for a little while whilst pretending to study tedious beyond belief manuscript from lunatic Have never messaged Daniel Cleaver before but brilliant thing about messaging system is you can be really quite cheeky and informal, even to your boss Also can spend ages practicing This is what sent Message CleaveSir, am appalled by message Whilst skirt could reasonably be described as a little on the skimpy side thrift being ever our watchword in editorial , consider it gross misrepresentation to describe said skirt as absent, and considering contacting union Jones Waited in frenzy of excitement for reply Sure enough Message Pending quickly flashed up Pressed RMS Will whoever has thoughtlessly removed the edited script of KAFKA S MOTORBIKE from my desk PLEASE have the decency to return it immediately Diane Aargh After that zilch Noon Oh God Daniel has not replied Must be furious Maybe he was being serious about the skirt Oh God oh God Have been seduced by informality of messaging medium into being impertinent to boss 12 10 Maybe he has not got it yet If only could get message back Think will go for walk and see if can somehow go into Daniel s office and erase it 12 15 Hah All explained He is in meeting with Simon from Marketing He gave me a look when walked past Aha Ahahahaha Message Pending Message JonesIf walking past office was attempt to demonstrate presence of skirt can only say that it has failed parlously Skirt is indisputably absent Is skirt off sick Cleave Message Pending then flashed up again immediately Message JonesIf skirt is indeed sick, please look into how many days sick leave skirt has taken in previous twelvemonth Spasmodic nature of recent skirt attendance suggests malingering Cleave Just sending back Message CleaveSkirt is demonstrably neither sick nor abscent Appalled by management s blatently sizist attitude to skirt Obsessive interest in skirt suggests management sick rather than skirt Jones Hmm Think will cross last bit out as contains mild accusation of sexual harassment whereas v much enjoying being sexually harassed by Daniel Cleaver Aaargh Perpetua just walked past and started reading over shoulder Just managed to press Alt Screen in nick of time but big mistake as merely put CV back up on screen Do let me know when you ve finished reading, won t you said Perpetua, with a nasty smirk I d hate to feel you were being underused The second she was safely back on the phone I mean frankly, Mr Birkett, what is the point in putting three to four bedrooms when it is going to be obvious the second we appear that bedroom four is an airing cupboard I got back to work This is what I am about to send Message CleaveSkirt is demonstrably neither sick nor abscent Appalled by management s blatently sizist attitude to skirt Considering appeal to industrial tribunal, tabloids, etc Jones Oh dear This was return message Message JonesAbsent, Jones, not abscent Blatantly, not blatently Please attempt to acquire at least perfunctory grasp of spelling Though by no means trying to suggest language fixed rather than constantly adapting, fluctuating tool of communication cf Hoenigswald computer spell check might help Cleave Was just feeling crestfallen when Daniel walked past with Simon from Marketing and shot a very sexy look at my skirt with one eyebrow raised Love the lovely computer messaging Must work on spelling, though After all, have degree in English Friday 6 January 5 45 p.m Could not be joyous Computer messaging re presence or otherwise of skirt continued obsessively all afternoon Cannot imagine respected boss did stroke of work Weird scenario with Perpetua penultimate boss , since knew I was messaging and v angry, but fact that was messaging ultimate boss gave self conflicting feelings of loyalty distinctly unlevel playing field where anyone with ounce of sense would say ultimate boss should hold sway Last message read Message JonesWish to send bouquet to ailing skirt over weekend Please supply home contact no asap as cannot, for obvious reasons, rely on given spelling of Jones to search in file Cleave Yesssss Yessssss Daniel Cleaver wants my phone no Am marvelous Am irresistible Sex Goddess Hurrah Sunday 8 January 128 lbs v bloody g but what is point , alcohol units 2 excellent , cigarettes 7, calories 3100 poor 2 p.m Oh God, why am I so unattractive Cannot believe I convinced myself I was keeping the entire weekend free to work when in fact I was on permanent date with Daniel standby Hideous, wasted two days glaring psychopathically at the phone, and eating things Why hasn t he rung Why What s wrong with me Why ask for my phone number if he wasn t going to ring, and if he was going to ring surely he would do it over the weekend Must center myself Will ask Jude about appropriate self help book, possible Eastern religion based 8 p.m Phone call alert, which turned out to be just Tom, asking if there was any telephonic progress Tom, who has taken, unflatteringly, to calling himself a hag fag, has been sweetly supportive about the Daniel crisis Tom has a theory that homosexuals and single women in their thirties have natural bonding both being accustomed to disappointing their parents and being treated as freaks by society He indulged me while I obsessed to him about my unattractiveness crisis precipitated, as I told him, first by bloody Mark Darcy then by bloody Daniel at which point he said, I must say not particularly helpfully, Mark Darcy But isn t he that famous lawyer the human rights guy Hmmm Well, anyway What about my human right not to have to wander round with fearsome unattractiveness hangup Bridget Jones Wikipdia Bridget est un personnage de fiction, cr par Helen Fielding Elle apparat en dans le roman Le Journal Jones, puis ses suites, Il diario di film Wikipedia Il s una commedia romantica britannica del diretta da Sharon Maguire e basata sul romanzo omonimo is a romantic comedy directed by and written Richard Curtis, Andrew Davies, IMDb Directed With Rene Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Gemma A British woman determined to improve herself while she looks for love in Schokolade zum Frhstck Frhstck Originaltitel ist eine romantische Komdie von Regisseurin aus dem Jahr della scrittrice libro ebbe grandissimo successo internazionale, contribu Novel on FREE shipping qualifying offers The iconic bestseller now Le une comdie romantique anglo franco amricaine ralise Maguire, sortie Enter your mobile number or email address below we ll send you link download the free Kindle App Then can start reading books smartphone Edge of Reason Beeban Kidron Adam Brooks, franchise based fictional character same name created writer first appearedHelen Morley, Yorkshire, februari een Engels schrijfster van columns boeken Ze studeerde aan Universiteit Oxford begon met bol Boeken kopen Kijk snel lezen koop je eenvoudig online bij bol Vele aanbiedingen Gratis retourneren Author s Diary was born Yorkshire She worked many years London as newspaper TV journalist, travelling wildly often possibly Uitgeverij Prometheus woont werkt Londen Los Angeles heeft zoon dochter Haar romans Het dagboek het nie artikelen Alle Op zoek naar Artikelen Fielding, Writer Diary February , West England producer, known Chicklit werd geboren werkte aantal jaren voor BBC maakte onder meer documentaires over Afrika liefdadigheidsproject Comic Books Guardian Podcast Hay festival Cory Doctorow, Shashi Tharoor podcast De op volgorde n overzicht boekomslag, flaptekst publicatie historie Inclusief informatie series Bridget Jones's Diary: A Novel eBook: Helen Fielding:

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