Raising Boys by Design: What the Bible and Brain Science Reveal About What Your Son Needs to Thrive

  • 240 pages
  • 0307731685
  • Anglais
  • Format Kindle
Raising Boys by Design: What the Bible and Brain Science Reveal About What Your Son Needs to Thrive

⑉ Raising Boys by Design: What the Bible and Brain Science Reveal About What Your Son Needs to Thrive Online Read ④ Ebook By Dr Gregory L Jantz ┆ IntroductionJoining Together to Raise Strong, Loving Christian SonsThank you for bringing this book into your family As we join together to explore with you the best parenting practices based on biblical insights and scientific research, the two of usone a Bible based psychologist and the other a science based marriage and family counselordraw not only on our than fifty years of collective research and experience but also on the shared belief that faith and science can and must serve one another, especially where the development of children is concerned.A Note from Dr Gregg JantzWelcome to this book Im so glad to be working with Michael and with you on this very important subject I had been asked for a number of years if I would consider providing a book for parents who are raising Christian sons As the father of two sons and a professional who has worked with young males for decades, I wanted to write that book My research and clinical practice has constantly brought me into the lives of boys and their families, and the wisdom Ive gained from these young people and families has inspired me to look deeply into the available research on male development in both religious and secular contexts.As part of that journey, I met Michaelinitially through his book The Wonder of Boys and then personally when I attended the Gurian Institute Summer Training Program at the University of ColoradoColorado Springs As he presented his findings, I was immediately moved by the fact that his science based theory coincided in many ways with my own theoretical and clinical work in helping the families of boys and girls Not too long after our meeting, the two of us became friends and started sharing our perspectives I soon began considering how I might partner with him to bring our intersecting theories, research, and practical strategies front and center into the Christian world That Michael is a practicing Jew and a man of deep spiritual commitment helped me to immediately feel comfortable with him.As the two of us compared notes, I learned that Michael, too, had been asked to write a purposeful resource for Christian parents.Michaels StoryI join Gregg in welcoming you into this book and its passionate journey It is an honor to walk with Gregg and Ann in helping you raise your sons.Much of my career has been devoted to working with parents, teachers, and organizations to integrate science based research into their lives As a clinician and counselor, Ive also worked hard to help bridge gaps between religion and science Part of this intention grows from my Christian clients and readers In my office, in e mails, or after lectures, they have asked things like, Can you put together your science based research with the Bible Would you consider writing a Bible oriented book for Christian parents Is there a God given design to males and females The questions Ive received that relate to Bible based parenting were not questions I had the expertise to answer, but the concept of God given design is, I believe, a profoundly important concept to consider In the early 1990s, from a secular perspective, I coined the phrase nature based theory to reflect the fact that gender, personality, talent sets, and many other aspects of human development do indeed possess a nature component we will look in detail at the scientific studies behind this assertion in chapter 2.Male and female natures gender begin in our genetics, before birth, and we carry those natural gender proclivities what are called, in developmental science, biological tendencies with us throughout our lives So while each boy and each girl, each woman and each man is influenced significantly by nurture and culture, each gender comes into the world with some profound gender differences in tow.As I met with Gregg, I heard him using the terms God given design and parenting with Gods design His theories provided a meeting point with nature based theory and science based parenting We realized that the phrase design based parenting integrated our common themes As we developed this book, we found significant intersections between the Bible and brain science.Our bridge building between the Bible and science feels to me like not only a powerful and positive resource for parents and others caring for children but also a way for faith based and secular worlds to work together to deepen our human conversation regarding the lives of our precious children.Our Team and Your TeamTogether, as experts from two different worlds, we are excited to provide this leading edge resource for Christian parents Our work is elevated by the behind the scenes efforts of our respective teams We want to thank Ann McMurray, Greggs partner at the Center for Counseling and Health Resources, for bringing her gender perspective and expertise to this project, and we want to thank the staff of the Center We also want to thank the Gurian Institute team in Colorado and elsewhere in the country and give special thanks to Rev Tim Wright in Peoria, Arizona, for his expertise in matters regarding boys and church life.Our two teams join us in hoping that the practices in this book will help you gift your son and family with an approach to parenting that brings together the best of the contemporary scientific world with the abiding truths of ancient wisdom.1 Our Sons Need a New Approach to Boyhood We live in a culture that has forgotten many crucial aspects of the divine design at work in the body and soul of boyhood.They come into the world red faced, sometimes screaming at the top of their lungs With the joyous pronouncement, Its a boy our sons are celebrated Into their tiny bodies we stuff our hopes and dreams as parents As we gaze at their faces, we see our fathers and mothers, our grandmothers and grandfathers gazing back at us Though our new son is barely a part of our present, we look at his squirming, warm bundle of future potential and say to ourselves, Hello, little man Little do we know the adventure we are beginning Our sons grow and change, sometimes before our eyes, and we can barely keep up with their active, inquisitive natures We seek to mold their wills to our own without breaking that spirit we know they will need in order to become a man.And we worry what sort of men they will become Will they be strong enough to shoulder an adult load Will they be humble enough to learn the lessons we yearn to teach In a culture where the rules for manhood dont always align with our values, whose wisdom will they listen to and follow We watch our sons change and mature We watch them succeed, and we watch them fail Knowing they must someday take over their own lives, we wonder how much to intervene The line between too little help and too much help isnt always clear to parents of boys today Our sons must learn to bear the weight of their thoughts and actions, but how much is too much and how soon is too soon Its difficult enough to deal with these questions and doubts when our sons are small and relatively contained under our roofs When our sons enter preschool and then school, the circle of adults with input and opinions and responsibility over our sons expands Our choices and decisions and the conduct of our sons come under review The schoolhouse is just one place where our parenting and the character of our sons can come into question As you notice your son measuring the world and being measured by it, you may feel that now is the time to fully embrace the complexity of raising boys in this busy, challenging world Now is the time to take a journey into the divine design of your son.Boys Need to Know Theyre Made in Gods ImageFor me Gregg , schooling is what challenged my family and me to look at the divine design of boys In grade school and even through middle school, I often found myself bored and unmotivated, trapped in a curricular purgatory of meaningless worksheets and monotone lectures I and therefore my parents would get comments from teachers such as Gregg is disruptive in class and Gregg is not working up to his potential After many discipline referrals to the principal, I finally learned to play the game I was mentored in how to power through the tedium of what I was expected to do so I could finally get to what I wanted to do And contrary to some of the dire predictions prophesied to my parents and teachers over those early years, I actually did graduate high school and even went on to earn my doctorate.As I established my career, I thought I had put all of that early anxiety and struggle behind me Imagine my surprise when many of those feelings came flooding back as my sons began their schooling Through my sons eyes, I realized that not much had changed since Id been in school The tipping point toward looking at the design of boys for the sake of my sons came soon after my oldestmy namesake, Gregg started sixth grade at a new school One day he reported a weird thing that had caught his attention At the start of each day, a line of boys paraded up to the teachers desk and took some sort of pill When he relayed this oddity, my heart sank The only conclusion I could draw was these boys were being medicated, probably with Ritalin or a similar drug, probably for ADD or ADHD.Not long after we learned this disturbing news, my wife and I were advised by school administrators to consider putting our son on medication as well Hearing a recitation of what he was like to deal with in class was like reading over the comments on my own childhood report cards Please hear me As a seasoned counselor, I know that some children absolutely need medication to cope with very real issues But I also know that medication is being overprescribed far too many social systems today, while being truly devoted to helping children succeed, simply do not understand the way boys are designed.Praise for Raising Boys by Design Raising Boys by Design is a fascinating and thoroughly enjoyable read Its marvelously inspiring, well thought out, and academically supported, but its also an intuitive guide to raising boys Every parent, teacher, and grandparent could benefit from this work Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and Sacred ParentingBlending biblical truth with brain science, Raising Boys by Design is truly a ground breaking resource that offers much needed insights for guiding boys toward health and success in every area of life Tim Clinton, PhD, president of the American Association of Christian Counselors and executive director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty UniversityRaising boys in todays world is no easy task We need to understand how boys process their emotions and deal with bullying, peer pressure, technology and other important issuesall of which are covered here This must read resource helps equip families to raise sons who will be well adjusted and heroes for life Linda Mintle, PhD, author of Raising Healthy Kids in an Unhealthy WorldWe live in a society where its dangerous to be a normal, rambunctious, healthy boy High energy is labeled hyperactive, competitiveness to excel is deemed selfish, and single mindedness in completion of a task is considered insensitive Societys constant attack on normal maleness instills a destructive insecurity and sense of inferiority into countless thousands of otherwise normal healthy men Raising Boys by Design brilliantly exposes this destructive trend while providing meaningful insights and applicable solutions If you want to protect your sons from the corrosive effects of todays world and empower them to become men after Gods own heart, then this book is for you Timothy R Jennings, MD, author of The God Shaped Brain, president elect of the Tennessee Psychiatric Association, and chairman, board of regents, of the Southern Psychiatric Association Raising Boys by Design is a clearly written and helpful book that integrates biblical truth and findings from brain science to enable sons to thrive as they grow up into adulthood Siang Yang Tan, PhD, professor of psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary and author of Counseling and Psychotherapy A Christian PerspectiveI cant think of two better men to tackle one of the most compelling issues of the twenty first century how to raise our sons into Christ empowered men Backed by brain science research, the Bible, personal experience, and a passion to impact boys, Gregg and Michael have created a playbook for Christian parents that will equip them to call their boys to follow Jesus into HEROIC manhood If you have a son, a grandson, or a significant boy in your life, you will want to have this book by your side as you guide him on his journey to manhood Tim Wright, pastor of Community of Grace in Peoria, Arizona, and author of Searching for Tom Sawyer How Parents and Congregations Can Stop the Exodus of Boys from ChurchI wish Id had this book when my three boys were young Chapter 2 is worth the cost of the whole book A must read for every parent, this even has great material for raising girls David Stoop, PhD, author and psychologistPraise for the Work of Michael GurianThere is no one who understands the development of boys better than Michael Gurian William Damon, PhD, professor of education at Stanford University and author of The Moral ChildMichael Gurian is Americas most passionate advocate for boys Michael Thompson, PhD, author of Its a Boy and co author of Raising Cain Raising Boys, Third Edition Why Boys Are Raising Are Different and How to Help Them Become Happy Well Balanced Men Steve Biddulph on FREE shipping Cain Protecting the Emotional Life of of Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson qualifying offers In Cain, Kindlon Without Dr Peggy Drexler About Book According prevailing wisdom, a boy must be raised with man in house otherwise, he s bound failure That same wisdom tells us that Gary is one country leading experts raising boys achievement, freelance education consultant, speaker, trainer, author former teacherGregory Price Grieve Buddhist Ethics Digital Gregory Professor Head Department Religious Studies at University North Carolina Greensboro researches, teaches as Healing Scars Abuse LKILA Healing L Jantz PhD, Ann McMurray spite their physical Raising Boys by Design: What the Bible and Brain Science Reveal About What Your Son Needs to Thrive

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